Breastfeeding

I think that we are pretty lucky. Things have been going really well with breastfeeding. Garrett nurses every two hours like clockwork during the day and at night he goes 3-4 hours the first stretch and the 2-3 hours after that. He always initiates feeding and almost always nurses ten minutes on each side every time he eats. Since he is gaining weight like a champ (up almost a pound from his birth weight at his two week appointment) I assume that my milk is more than enough for him.

Now I am wondering how long we are going to do feedings every two hours. As grateful as I am that everything is going so well it is hard having your life run on a two hour schedule, and really since it takes a half hour to feed it is more like an hour and a half schedule. I know that eventually he will go longer between feedings as his stomach gets bigger. Since we are home and I don't really have that much to do it isn't a big deal to feed him that frequently but it does make going out and doing anything pretty hard. I have not actually feed Garrett in public yet and while it makes me nervous I know that I am going to just have to buck up and do it at some point. That point will definitely be this weekend when Brian's sister and her family come out. We have a lot planned, and most of it does not include sitting around the house.

I bought a pump hoping to get enough milk stored up that I could have at least a little for when we are out and about and just do the feedings by bottle but pumping has been harder than I thought it would be. The first day that I pumped I tried it a couple of times after feedings or when he only ate off of one side. That night he was fussy and wouldn't let us put him down pretty much from 7pm to 1 pm the next day. He was asking to eat most of the time as well. I think that he was hungry because I had pumped a lot of his feedings and my supply couldn't keep up. To top it off I really only got like an ounce and a half total that day. So I have been trying not to pump as much. In three days I have about 2 and a half maybe three ounces. That is discouraging. I know that all I can do though is keep at it and hope that it picks up.

I am also nervous to give him a bottle at this point. I don't want him to realize that the bottle is easier than nursing and start to refuse to nurse. I also don't want to hurt my milk supply by feeding him from a bottle instead of nursing or pumping.

I guess we will see how this weekend goes. I will probably throw a bottle and that extra milk that I have in the diaper bag when we go out and just see how it goes. I may use it and I may not. I am guessing not and all in all even though the freedom would be nice I am not sure that I am ready for him to have a bottle yet and risk messing up everything especially since it is going so well.

Great Start

There is nothing like finishing your coffee around noon on a warm summer day while you snuggle with a baby who is in a milk comma! Please don't mind the I just woke up look. Brian took Garrett while I caught a little more sleep between 9 and 11. I am going to miss him when he goes back to work next week!

Sleep!

If you asked me at 4am as Garrett is up grunting to be fed again, how much I would pay someone to feed him (from my boob) and hold him/put him to sleep while I got 8 hours of continuous sleep for one night, it would be an insane amount of money!

This kid is to smart...or something. He has already figured out that it is better to be held while sleeping than to sleep on your own in the Pack N Play. This means that someone is never sleeping or is at the least is dozing with him in the glider (thank god we spent money on a nice used rocker!) I know he is little and I know it will get better.

I think that the problem might stem from him being held all day long while Grandma was here. I told Brian today that we HAVE to start putting him down every time he sleeps (even though it is so tempting to hold him and I think that in general you can't really snuggle a newborn to much) because I just don't know how else to get him used to sleeping on his own. Putting him down in the Pack N Play on his own and having him wake up 10 minutes later is a lot less frustrating during the day than for the 5th time during the night.

Of course he sleeps pretty good in our bed, but I am just not comfortable co-sleeping. Our bed has a down mattress pad and is all squishy and soft. I am terrified of one of us rolling on him. And I also think that the bed is mine and Brian's and needs to stay that way for intimacy and all that good stuff to keep our marriage healthy.

So for now we keep on trying and keep on getting very little sleep. Tonight we got three hours in a row, which felt like a stinking vacation, and I actually woke up before him! I know he is little and it will get better (as I chant this and rock back and forth like a crazy person!)

One Week

Dear Garrett,

I never thought that I would be the type to want to write my children letters, but here I am with so much to say to you after only one week of life. As I nurse you for what already feels like like the millionth time I marvel at how tiny you really are. You swim in newborn clothes, which seemed unimaginably small before you came. Mommy was not prepared and we had to go and get preemie clothes just so that you would have something to wear that would fit.

You are nothing that we expected and more than we could of hoped for. Your daddy looked at you the other day and said, "I just didn't understand how much I would love you!" Falling in love with you has been one of the best experiences of our lives. We constantly laugh at the sweet faces you make (even the grumpy ones), and the grunts that come out of you while you sleep. We marvel at all of your hair and the fact that it is brown with blond highlights.

The first week of your life has been a busy one. We came home from the hospital on Friday, the day after you were born, and Grandpa and Grandma Trowbridge showed up on Saturday. Mommy and daddy have appreciated all of their help, especially in the mornings when Grandma takes you and holds you so that we can get a couple more hours of sleep!

When you got home from the hospital you were a little jaundice. On Monday the pediatrician made us get a biliblanket for you. I hated having you connected to a machine all of the time. You however seemed to love having the warm lights on your back and the white noise from the machine constantly running. We called you our little glow worm.

You already found your thumb this week. You seem to have a need to have something in your mouth pretty much all the time.

Today on your one week birthday we took you in to get circumcised, fun right? While I know you won't remember it, I am having a hard time seeing you in pain. I think mommy cried as much as you did the first couple of diaper changes, but you seem to be bouncing back just fine.

You are such a handsome little man. While I can't wait for you to get older so we can experience a million memories together, I also want to hold on to you forever while you are so tiny and new (minus the sleep deprivation!) Your daddy and I can't wait to see what a life with you will bring us.

Love,

Mommy

Garrett

We are sitting here at home and alone, just him and I for the first time ever. I wanted to write a blog post about our little peanut but there are so many things to say and not enough of the right words to say them. So, I think I will post a random list of thoughts.

1. Garrett Richard Lamon Nickolay was born at 10:40am on June 10th. He weighed 5lbs 11oz and was almost 19 inches long.
2. My labor lasted about 18 hours and we spent a little over 12 of them at the hospital.
3. Labor was and wasn't the most painful experience of my life. It was awful and then again, it wasn't that bad. I can't explain it. Pushing...that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I think that it is as hard mentally as it is physically.
4. Listening to my husband's voice coach me and get more and more excited as I pushed and got closer to getting Garrett out was one of the only things that got me through it.
5. It is true...they come out and you love them with everything that you have in you.
6. He is the most intimidating person I have ever meet. We are in charge of making sure he is happy, healthy and a good person. OMG, I can't believe they let us leave the hospital with him!
7. I am not sure how all my bits "down there" are ever going to go back to normal. It is scary and it hurts me!
8. He is SO tiny and has a full head of hair that is brown and blond, I love him even more for it.
9. His days and nights seem mixed up. The nights are incredibility hard, especially when you are already sleep deprived. There are times I feel like I would literally pay a million dollars for four (or even three) straight hours of sleep!
10. Watching my husband turn into a dad is THE best thing ever. Ever time he kisses Garrett or leans over him and says how perfect he is, my heart melts!

Attitude Adjustment

This kid is already adjusting my expectations and teaching me that I just can't always have the things I want! On Sunday night I was up all night with contractions. Every time I went to lay down I would start getting lower back pain and contractions and of course that made me feel wide awake and my mind go a million miles an hour. I literally got 2 hours of sleep up until about 5:30 am. So by the time that I woke up at 9:30 I was cranky! Contractions that were totally sporadic and lower back pain that developed when I layed down was not my idea of how things were supposed to go when "labor" started.

After a walk and another nap, I finally decided their was no reason to feel so cranky and depressed about it (I think that the extra sleep might have helped the attitude as well.) So I baked a cake and enjoyed my "sick" day at home with Brian. 36 hours later I am still having contractions on a pretty regular basis but nothing that is time able or that I can't do normal activities through. I figure at this point at least SOMETHING is happening and hopefully at some point active labor will just kind of kick in. I think I would be more disappointed if things just stopped and nothing was going on. It is definitely a good reminder that you can't control what happens with your body, everyone is different (there is no "normal"), and that things are easier if you just go along with the flow.

39 Weeks, O.M.G.

Here is how I am feeling these days in list style:

Swollen: Check

Tired: Check

Achy: Check

Chubby: Check

Cranky: Check

Done: Check

Whiny: Check :)

Ready: Check, check, check

How far along? 39 weeks
Total weight gain: More :(
Maternity Clothes? I don't want to wear clothes anymore, they are uncomfortable!
Sleep: Still good, besides the peeing!

Best moment this week: Um...Doctor's appointment I guess.
Food Craving: Nothing really
Movement: He is pushing out and stretching a lot. I think that he needs to come out now.
Gender: Little Man!
Labor Signs: Doctor says I am progressing right along. Baby dropped another inch or so, I am dilated a little bit more, and all that good stuff. I am getting Braxton Hicks pretty much every time I stand up or twist and even had a couple of hours of false labor on Tuesday night.
Belly button in or out: In
What I miss: Not feeling swollen from head to toe.
What I am looking forward to: Not feeling swollen from head to toe! Being done!
Milestones: False labor...I guess :)