Pregnancy changes you...

One of the biggest fears that I have about this whole pregnancy/becoming a mom thing is that I will never be "me" again. I know that it sounds weird and it even sounds silly to me. But I am afraid that I will not be the same person when all is said and done. I know that being a parent changes you but I am afraid I won't recognize myself or that I won't like what it changes me into...very weird I KNOW!!

But here are some interesting changes that I have notice already:

1. Sometimes I pee when I sneeze AKA snissing.
2. If it is possible pregnancy has made me love my husband more and has made me more attracted to him.
3. I don't really like to wear underwear anymore, hence sometimes I don't wear them.
4. I like to sew.
5. When I gotta go, I go...and I am not talking about peeing. You don't hold that stuff in, you never know when you might get the urge again. Constipation is not my friend.
6. Every time I drop something I think, "OMG Really?! But that is so far down there...and I have to bend over and pick it up!"
7. I talk about things like circumsicion techniques, who is and isn't, and how they feel about it like it was a normal conversation.
8. I spend a lot of time at home, and I love every minute of it.
9. I have a tendency to over share. Trust me, this is the edited version. Brian gets the unedited one...the poor guy!

On Being "Small"

So now that I am actually apparently showing, everyone keeps on telling me how "small" I look and how they can't believe that I am due in June. I have to admit, I like it. I would much rather people be surprised that I am due in June then telling me I look like I am going to pop out an elephant any minute.

However, I don't feel small. I feel like I barely fit into any of the clothes that I have that I can actually wear. Every morning I stand in my closet and look at alllll of the clothes that I can no longer wear (you really feel like you have a lot of clothes when you only fit into about 5% of what you have!) After 10 min my ankle socks leave deep rings in my already large cankles. I had to loosen the laces on my tennis shoes that I have been wearing since freshman volleyball. I think it has been at least 4 years since I have had to adjust the laces on them. My thighs...well they don't fit into any of my pre-pregnancy jeans, and barely squeeze into my maternity ones.

So to all the people that have told me I look small for my gestational age (or something like that)... thank you, I really do appreciate it and it does make me feel good. But please don't ask to see my thighs, okay well my legs, because I am pretty sure the 20-25 lbs that I have gained has been dispersed between the two of them, and they look it!

33 Weeks

Wow, I have barely blogged at all this week! Sorry to all you who depend on my wit, humor and wisdom to get through the week...just kidding. But I have been tired and achy and well... I like to pretend I have a life, by not blogging. Which actually means I don't have anything going on.

Anyway, here is the 33 Week survey right at 33 weeks and a picture! Wow, look how on top of it I am!
How far along? 33 Weeks
Total weight gain: What?
Maternity Clothes? Yes, finally made a trip to Ross for lighter summery maternity clothes. I got two shirts and a pair of capri's. I should be good until this baby decides to come.
Sleep: I usually wake up numb or with heartburn but all in all it is still pretty good. I don't feel like I am awake all night.
Best moment this week: Ordering our car seat and base. Watching Brian get his head shaved for St. Baldrick's day. Finishing up with painting the dresser. Getting a sunburn!
Food Craving: No major ones again. I did make Brian turn around two blocks from the pizza place last night because I realized that he forgot to get ranch dressing for the cheesy bread when he picked it up from the pizza place. There was no way we were making it home without THE ranch dressing from THE pizza place.
Movement: I hope he doesn't hiccup as much outside of me as he does inside of me. I would feel bad for him...
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: Braxton hicks still but nothing new. I could possibly start seeing some things change here pretty soon which is exciting!
Symptoms: Achy mostly. My tailbone and hips get sore a lot sooner if I stay in one position to long.
Belly button in or out: In, but it is still getting shallower!
What I miss: My "normal" tummy...I hope it sort of comes back to normal... And, this might be to much information, but not having my belly get in the way during...uh, well...intimate moments!
What I am looking forward to: Rachel's wedding and seeing all of the girls from college!

Milestones: I can't think of any big ones this week!

Here is a picture of our St. Baldrick's Day fun. Some of the guys on the fire department got their heads shaved for a fundraiser for kids with cancer. There are three fire departments in the county who participate. In the last couple of years a small competition has started between the three to see who can raise the most money and who can bring the most guys. I have never been and Brian has never done it, so it was fun to participate this year.

I kind of like him with a shaved head. I get to call him Fuzzy which is the best part!

32 Weeks 2 Days

How far along? 32 Weeks, 2 Days
Total weight gain: Enough!
Maternity Clothes? Yes, I need some summer shirts. Everything that fits right now is long sleeved or sweaters.
Sleep: Good most nights. I am starting to wake up multiple times a night with the side of my body that I was laying on completely numb.
Best moment this week: Shopping for baby stuff.
Food Craving: Brie Cheese
Movement: He is all over the place! He finally found my ribs, which is weird.
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: None.
Symptoms: I am actually feeling pretty good. I think that I am on the verge of starting to get uncomfortable.
Belly button in or out: In
What I miss: Really being able to "enjoy" girls nights :)
What I am looking forward to: Summer, Summer, Summer! Maternity leave!
Milestones: Brian feeling hiccups. Baby responding to me touching him from the outside.

My Husband

Things that I love about this man:

1. The way he grabs me around the waist in the kitchen and pulls me in for a kiss and snuggle as we are both laughing about something.
   
2. When he talks to his mom on the phone and she is telling him something funny he has a special laugh. One that says I am completely comfortable, open and myself with you.
   
3. He is meticulous about folding and putting away laundry (he rotates his clean shirts and socks people), but always seems to miss spots when he sweeps.
   
4. After a long day or a busy week where we haven't seen much of each other the first thing he does is wrap his arms around me tight and nuzzle into my neck, like he needs to breathe me in.
   
5. He would eat pizza everyday of the year.
   
6. When he comes home late from a meeting and I am asleep in bed he leans over and kisses me on the cheek when he lays down next to me.
   
7. He has good taste in jewelry
   
8. He is never hurtful or rude, to anyone.
   
9. It takes 10 reminders and two month for him to remember to get the vehicles scheduled for oil changes.
   
10. Marriage and sharing his life with me seems to be his second nature. He never struggles with the "us" it always seems to be his first instinct.
    
11. He is quick to laugh and pretty much never gets angry.
    
12. He makes me feel happy, safe and loved always.

31 Weeks-ish

We had such a busy weekend that I didn't really get time to post this. We had friends in town until Saturday morning and then I had my last baby shower on Saturday. My mom and Jen did such a great job with everything. It was such a nice luncheon.

After the shower Jen and I went out to meet up with the boys. They were helping out with a branding on a ranch north of where we live. It was fun to see all of the action, but it was pretty gruesome watching them brand all the calves and castrate the boys. Good thing the calves didn't seem to shaken by it when all was said and done.

This picture was taken last Thursday outside of the "love SHACK." It was the trailer that Brian and I lived at, in Yellowstone, the summer we got married. It was awful. Now it is just funny.

How far along? 31 weeks + some

Total weight gain: 19 lbs...and I feel it, yuck!
Maternity Clothes? Yup, I tried on some non-maternity cute summer dresses at Old Navy yesterday, I am not sure what I was thinking. It was depressing and comical. I did buy a really cute and comfortable maxi dress though!
Sleep: I love my bed in ways that are probably not healthy!
Best moment this week: My baby shower.

Food Craving: Nothing major this week.
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: None.
Symptoms: A lot and none of them are pretty. Maybe I will write a whole other blog post all about them!
Belly button in or out: Getting shallower. I think that instead of a due date poll we should do one on whether or not I am actually going to flatten out.
What I miss: My legs not looking like hell. Not that they looked that great to begin with.
What I am looking forward to: Rachel's wedding, hitting full term!
Milestones: Feeling baby move in my ribs, it is not pleasant.

Robert L. Chambers

Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart.

My dad passed away April 3, 1999, the day before Easter. This time of the year is always full of reflections and a little bit of sadness. Grief is a weird thing, like everything it changes over the years.

At first you miss the tangent presence of that person in your life. You miss putting quarters on the railroad tracks and watching the trains run them over, you miss watching them tie flies, you miss them teaching you things. As their presence fads you start to wish that they were there to share and celebrate events with you. High school volleyball games, graduations, college, weddings and buying houses. Then you suddenly realize that you can get through an event and enjoy it with just a hint of longing, knowing that they wouldn't want you to be sad on such a happy day.

Right now I long for him to know the important people in my life. I grieve for the relationships that aren't there. The relationship that he would have had with my husband. The excitement and joy he would experience in a grandson.

Dad, we miss your smile by our side, sitting in the living room late at night talking. We missed you at our graduations and our wedding. We long for your knowledge and love, we miss your joy for life and your crazy ideas. We miss the fights and disagreements that we would have had. We wish that the people in our lives now could have known you and could be shaped by you, just as we were.

We go through our days honoring you by living life to the fullest just as you did and would want us to do. We laugh at our mistakes and take pleasure in the big accomplishments and the small perfect jewels of life. We take joy in the knowledge that you are still present in our lives through the lessons you taught us before you left and the memory of you that we carry in our hearts.

My dad on the left and his brother.

30 Weeks, 2 Days

How far along? 30 Weeks, 2 Days!!! Yay!!
Total weight gain: Oh My Goodness! I only gained 1/2 lb in the last four weeks according to the doctor's scale! That was some awesome news. However I am just waiting until the next appointment when I gain like 5 lbs in 2 weeks!
Maternity Clothes? Yup.
Sleep: Sleep is good, however I am still exhausted all the time.
Best moment this week: Yup.
Food Craving: This is so embarrassing...McChicken sandwiches from McDonald's! I can't get enough of them, I have held back and only had 2 this week, even though I want them for every.single.meal. Including breakfast.
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: None.
Symptoms: Fatigue, tired, exhausted...
Belly button in or out: Large gaping hole. Oh, and my 18 month old niece is obsessed with belly buttons and made me show her mine multiple times this weekend...I am pretty sure she was traumatized at the shear width of it!
What I miss: A glass of wine, staying up past 8pm.
What I am looking forward to: My second shower, hitting full term!
Milestones: 30 weeks! Starting to go to doctor appointments every two weeks. Passing the gestational diabetes test!

Easter!

I LOVE Easter! The Martha in me wants to do these to take to my mom's this weekend. Aren't they just beautiful? However the pregnant woman says..."ugh, these would require so much energy", and the sane person says "I am just not that good"...I might try though!

You can find the how to at prudentbaby.com.