I think that we have officially graduated from the honeymoon stage. I can't decide whether it is that we have been together longer now or it is a stage that all newlyweds go through. The past couple of weeks Brian and I have been pretty disconnected from each other. Every time we get busy and don't get a chance to spend some quality time together and reconnect this happens but it is for more like a couple of days not what seems like weeks.
It is a sort of scary place to be and it is hard to admit sorta out loud! I have never felt before that every phone conversation with any person triggers some sort of annoyance. But that is what it has been like off and on for a couple of weeks. Some factors that are contributing to it:
- My constant lack of sleep and crazy schedule.
- Brian's difficulty with including me/communicating what is going on at work and in general.
- Brian's new command schedule with keeps him committed 7am-7pm Mon-Fri.
- My friend's temporary separation with her husband (she is also the first good friend that I have had since being with Brian, so also adjusting to hanging out with someone else besides him.)
I think that all of these have made me need him to make an extra effort to show me how he feels (which sounds lame and insecure). We have hit that point where our feelings aren't so new and fresh so we both aren't going the extra mile. I know that it has been awhile since I have gone out of my way to put on a piece of lingerie!
This weekend, even though I was gone for a bachelorette party I think that we really did connect much better. When I got home from Billings on Sunday afternoon, Brian admitted that he had felt that we hadn't really been connecting lately. Just hearing him say that meant the world to me. It shows to me that he is in tune with us and can feel the same things I can, even if he doesn't show it as much as I do. Then we went for a walk and cooked dinner together. It was the perfect Sunday night at home, no distractions just him and I. It helped me to remember why I love him so much. He really is an amazing and loving man! This whole thing has been a good reminder to both of us that a relationship is something that does not always come easily but takes work and it is hard work at times! It is totally worth it though!