Why are most things in life bittersweet?
After weeks of stressing, worrying, fearing, crying and discussing a certain job opportunity for Brian, he didn't end up with the job. While I thought that I would feel relief, I really didn't. I felt sadness, I felt his disappointment. I knew that Brian really wanted the opportunity, I knew that he would be good at the job, and I knew that it was a good financial decision for us. While I was not sure how much I liked the idea of him working in this career field, I wanted the job for him.
It was probably our first real big struggle in our relationship. For me it really came down to trusting the man that I married and believing that his core character and the person that I am in love with is really solid and genuine. I have to say that I have never truly experienced having that pull inside of you that wonders how far you follow and support someone you love so that they can have what they feel is right and want, and when you step back and say, "no way, no how, we will have to figure something else out."
I am proud of us though. I think that I have always been afraid that conflict in a relationship (especially in a marriage) meant that there would have to be yelling and detachment from the other person. That was not the case for us at all, we always totally respected and listened to each other. While we both had strong feelings about the situation, we really stuck by and supported each other. It makes me love him even more, and makes me feel very lucky to have married such a great guy.