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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Work

I am not going to lie, working full time with a baby is awful, I hate it and it has only been three days.
I hate the long days.
I hate that Garrett is literally in daycare from 7:30am to 5:50pm.
I hate that we get home at 6pm and he is ready to go to bed by 7:30pm. I actually got up early this morning, got ready and woke him up just so that I could give him his morning bottle and spend time with him.
I hate that I am almost in tears every time I think about it.
I hate the guilt. I feel like in the evenings that I am home with him I shouldn't put him down, because I haven't seen him and I need to be with him every moment, and he shouldn't have to play alone on the floor while we eat dinner or do whatever.
I hate that deep down inside I am afraid that he will bond more with his daycare provider than me. (This is the worst one!)

For at least a couple of weeks I will be getting home at 6:30...UGH!!! Hopefully I will get a more regular schedule where I will be working 7am-3pm Mon-Fri. That will be so much better. Even though I will have less days off I will have the late afternoons with Garrett.

2 comments:

Amy said...

hugs...hugs...and more hugs... as soon as they are out its about guiding and letting go. Your example of EVERYTHING is what they will learn & live by. (waiting for the funny mom thing to load...)

Lexi said...

Hugs hugs hugs hugs....=) Someone once told me that everyone needs 7 hugs a day; especially a bad day. You are a very good mom. I struggled with the decision about whether or not to go back to work; it didn't make sense for us financially or emotionally, but in a different place I would have gone back. Whether I was emotionally ready or not. Hugs hugs hugs...HA 7!