Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I am not going to lie, working full time with a baby is awful, I hate it and it has only been three days.
I hate the long days.
I hate that Garrett is literally in daycare from 7:30am to 5:50pm.
I hate that we get home at 6pm and he is ready to go to bed by 7:30pm. I actually got up early this morning, got ready and woke him up just so that I could give him his morning bottle and spend time with him.
I hate that I am almost in tears every time I think about it.
I hate the guilt. I feel like in the evenings that I am home with him I shouldn't put him down, because I haven't seen him and I need to be with him every moment, and he shouldn't have to play alone on the floor while we eat dinner or do whatever.
I hate that deep down inside I am afraid that he will bond more with his daycare provider than me. (This is the worst one!)

For at least a couple of weeks I will be getting home at 6:30...UGH!!! Hopefully I will get a more regular schedule where I will be working 7am-3pm Mon-Fri. That will be so much better. Even though I will have less days off I will have the late afternoons with Garrett.


Amy said...

hugs...hugs...and more hugs... as soon as they are out its about guiding and letting go. Your example of EVERYTHING is what they will learn & live by. (waiting for the funny mom thing to load...)

Lexi said...

Hugs hugs hugs hugs....=) Someone once told me that everyone needs 7 hugs a day; especially a bad day. You are a very good mom. I struggled with the decision about whether or not to go back to work; it didn't make sense for us financially or emotionally, but in a different place I would have gone back. Whether I was emotionally ready or not. Hugs hugs hugs...HA 7!